member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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