You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
