he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
