i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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