You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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