Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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