we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Blood and glitter go together right?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Found the puke drawer
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
