im so drunk with asians
where?
always
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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