her vagine was all disorganized.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
