zippers are such a cool invention
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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