Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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