Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
