; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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