You made me cry and you don't even care
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Are we still banned from the library?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
