WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize