i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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