I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize