They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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