Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
