Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
