Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
