escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
