i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
