She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
