yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
