He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
