My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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