Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
