he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
