you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
