You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
