I need help removing her.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize