we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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