I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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