dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
