3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Your face is a jimmy john
Pants 0. Shit 1.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
