At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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