HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
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