plz talk dirty to me
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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