Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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