I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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