Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
