the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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