remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
