its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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