hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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