You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
handjob tips. give me some.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
