i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
