Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
