FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize