Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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