Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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