My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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