Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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