Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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