i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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