i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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