You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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