how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize