i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
