I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
