She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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