I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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