There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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