NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Are these your boobs on my camera?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
