Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
