I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
