Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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