A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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