I'm going to jail i love you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
