just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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