my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So many bounce houses so little time
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
