Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
