Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize